Its good so far! Some suggestions: take a little more time over the opening; slowly fade in, perhaps even a greater ELS moving to LS? Shot of whole street (ELS) then attention taken by a light going on/off (LS)? The 1st shot is nicely framed - make use of the trees, maybe a hand pushing a branch aside? Slight shake in shot of shorts being dropped; split this by crosscutting with outside to remove that? Retake shot of taps (shakes!). Bit of a jump cut from disrobing to being in bath. Will be interesting to see with soundtrack!
Its good so far!
ReplyDeleteSome suggestions: take a little more time over the opening; slowly fade in, perhaps even a greater ELS moving to LS? Shot of whole street (ELS) then attention taken by a light going on/off (LS)? The 1st shot is nicely framed - make use of the trees, maybe a hand pushing a branch aside? Slight shake in shot of shorts being dropped; split this by crosscutting with outside to remove that? Retake shot of taps (shakes!). Bit of a jump cut from disrobing to being in bath.
Will be interesting to see with soundtrack!